WHERE IN LIFE ARE YOU?

I’m currently working on The Designing Your Life workbook where I’m literally shading in the gauges on the dashboard of my life. Asking myself the question, Where In Life Am I? The four categories are Work, Play, Love, and Health.

Now before I answer that question, let me tell you a little about my journey up to this point. Somewhere in the midst of COVID, I started to evaluate my life again. I’d been all about reading the next new strategies, getting starting, and THEN, never finishing. I was swept into the Marie Kondo’s asking myself, "What Sparks Joy?" by cleaning out both my closet and the kids' closets, but then, it ended. I enlisted my friend to work with me on the STEPS system from Learndobecome.com. I set up my command central, got my email down to zero, but did I follow through with my weekly check-in? Did I keep my projects up to date? I’m guessing you can figure out the answer. To this day, I’m still working to completely integrate that system in my life, but still not there yet. And so, I’ve been feeling like a starter but not a finisher of anything. And, any exercise program didn’t really get past the first week.

Somewhere in the midst of COVID and our decision to homeschool our three kids for the year alongside my frustrations with everything around me, lead me to a Facebook post. This post was from my son’s previous teacher who just completed a program called the 75Hard. I’ve dove into programs quickly before but by the following week, on September 1, 2020, the day we officially started homeschooling, I also embarked on the 75Hard journey. My husband’s response was, “Oh, another one of those programs you are starting….”

But then the days kept passing, and I hadn’t given up yet. Slowly the kids started to notice and ask questions like, “Why is your food without sauce, why aren’t you using the coffee creamer anymore?” My husband tried to make sure when he shopped or made dinner that there was something I could eat. And on the nights when I wasn’t motivated to do the second exercise, he’d take a walk with me after the kids were asleep. Or we would integrate Nature Walks into our curriculum, getting one workout in, getting fresh air, and seeing the beauty around us. I even continued to make sure we did taekwondo classes together.

But on Day 73, I was almost done and thinking now what? I’m actually going to complete a full 75 days, but this is where I started to get depressed because of the question: Now What? started to lurk. What do I do to keep going or am I going to fall back into my old habits?

That was the moment I read Morning Miracles by Hal Elrod. I have to admit up to this point it was a hit or miss if I did exercise before the kids were up or even got up before them. Our mornings were messy and full of screaming and sometimes I felt like a zombie walking around. I kept hearing how different it could be, but really, don’t I want to sleep until the last possible moment? But at this point what do I have to lose?

And that was the beginning that truly changed the structure of my day and set me up for success. So much has changed since I’ve implemented a new morning routine. And I will further explain the morning in another blog. But for now, I’ve come to the realization that progress is the key to fulfillment. Progress keeps us moving forward on our journey as we learn, adapt, and become better versions of ourselves.

Every time I get to the end of a challenge, it’s time to first celebrate. Celebration is my new goal because that is one of my biggest struggles. Looking in the mirror and saying congratulations and giving yourself a High Five Mel Robbins style is becoming a new exciting habit which is very recent. Then it’s time to see what do I want to work on next and/or learn. What new thing am I going to try?

I personally like to pull multiple ideas at a time to present, as I know everyone is a bit different, and one idea is not going to work for everyone. So now, I’m looking at the categories laid out in The Design Your Own Life Workbook (work, play, love, health) and the ones Jay Shetty lists: health, personal, spirituality, family, and work.

Burnett and Evan define each of these terms:

Work: Your Participation in the great ongoing human adventure on the planet, the stuff you do whether paid or not paid

Play: Any activity that brings you joy when you do it.

Love: We all know what love is. And we all know when we have it or when we don't.

Health: Being well in mind, body, and spirit--emotional health, physical health, and mental health

Shetty asks you to think about what type of energy you have in each of these categories.

Activity:

1. Pick the one that speaks to you most

2. Identify where are you in each category by writing a number 1 through 10 next to it.

*Asking yourself: How fulfilled do I feel with this aspect of my life, 10 being the most fulfilled.

3. Answer: Why do I feel that way?

Notes:

* Before, I share my numbers I know that off the bat I have set unrealistic expectations in my head and my first step is lowering those expectations to reality. Considered that idea in your number.

*Choose 1: Decisions can be hard, but this is the first step in changing your life. Make a decision as we are starting with a small one but with each decision you make, you are coming one step closer to finding what actually works for you not someone else.

Option 1

Category	Number	WHY?
Work
Play
Love
Health

Option 2

Category	Number	WHY?
Health
Personal
Spiritual
Family
Work

For me, I choose Option 2 giving myself 7 Personal, 8 Health, 7 Family, Spirituality 5, and Work 3. I choose to focus on it because of the separate category of spirituality. I see it as part of health but since I’ve always struggled with it, I wanted to work more on it.

As a child, I spent my days in a Catholic School all the way through high school, and somewhere in that process my family of four going to church turned into just my mom and me. And eventually, even my mom stopped wanting to go, so I stopped. And since then, I’ve spent time searching for a place I would like to spend time with God. As my husband and I spent a year traveling around the world, at points, I took our travels towards religious hot spots such as Jerusalem and even Bodh Gaya to see what Buddha saw. And when we returned, we tried churches such Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, CA.

I’ve been searching for something, but lately, I’ve stopped to look at the nature around me and how I feel God in all of it. And in meditation where I feel I can connect to what God wants me to do. But a church and possible religion is still a question for me. I’ve never questioned someone greater than me created the divine I see all around me, I’ve questioned how do I connect and be part of that. And so, I want to keep working towards finding that sense and listening to my Knowing which I know comes from God.

Though all of this is guiding me to my biggest challenge, which was a direct statement I had made some time ago. In my 40’s, I will make time to find what I want my work to focus on. I wanted to return to something outside of the house that contributed to a society where I could serve others.

Through this self-discovery journey, I started, I have started to find bits and pieces along the way. The frustrating part is trying to put them all together. For instance, 11 months ago, I had the idea of the name Circle of Grace. What was this for? I wasn’t exactly sure, but I started buying domain names. Circle of Grace is taken so I look at Circle4Grace, and Circleforgrace which are the two I purchased. But as I started to work with my first group, for stood out as something that put conditions on the group. Thus, Ourcircleofgrace.com emerged. These Circles are about using grace to give each other a safe authentic space to learn, grow, and support each other through our journeys in life. I will explore that why further in the next blog, but for now fill out your now chart, and comment below to your thoughts on Where In Life Are You? 👇

Resources mentioned:

Burnett, Bill and Dave Evans. Designing Your Life: How to Build A Well-Lived, Joyful Life. New York, Alfred A. Knopf, 2016.

Burnett, Bill and Dave Evans. The Designing Your Life Workbook. New York, Clarkson Potter/Publishers.

Elrod, Hal. The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM). Miracle Morning Publishing, LLC, 2017.

Frisella, Andy. 75Hard: A Tactical Guide to Winning the War with Yourself. Andy Frisella, 2020.

Shetty, Jay. Think Like A Monk. New York, Simon & Schuster, 2020.